I
think I'm a little delusional. For example, sometimes I think I'm
still really young and then I find myself driving home from the store
and I feel like I want to pull over and take a nap, because I'm too
tired to drive 10 more minutes. That is a moment I realize I'm not so
young. Or I'll be having a conversation with someone about age and I'll
ask them to guess mine, and they guess my age right on the dot. I
hate that. I don't even accept when they take two years off of my age.
Not acceptable. I want 7 or more years off, or the conversation wasn't
even worth it. I'm also delusional about my agility and gymnastics
skills. But then my two year old came up to me and asked me to help her
do a "handspring." So I picked up that little two year old body and
flipped her around and she said, "Thanks Mom." And I'm thinking,
"Anytime, that's what I do! I flip kids around, because I'm young and
agile." And then she said, "Can you do a handspring?" And I said,
"yes" and did my version of a "handspring." Then she sweetly responded,
"You can't?! I help you!" And in my mind, I'm like, "I just did one!"
But it's cool.
Being
delusional is kind of sweet. It gives us a moment of peace,
confidence, whatever…until reality hits us. But we don't need reality
hitting us all the time. We just need it sometimes. I'll never forget
being in a math class in college, and we got our graded tests back and
the girl in front of me totally flunked the test, and she said, "I
thought I did well on this test." And I was like, "How could you have
thought you did well when you flunked?!" (didn't say it out loud). I
would understand if she had gotten a C and said, "I thought I would at
least get a B." But then I have to think, "What a great attitude she
had!" And she had, like, two days where she was excited about doing
well on a test. That's better than taking the test, being sad about
doing a poor job and then getting the test back and remembering you did a
poor job. Who am I to mock her delusional thinking? We could all use a
little delusional thinking once in a while.
So
today, I will be delusional: I am young, and not tired. I am a
gorgeous! I am brilliant! I am confident! And I'll let you know if
reality tells me something different.
